


Of Truths and Choices

by CandiceWright



Series: My little merthur stories [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), BAMF Morgana (Merlin), Canon Era, Execution, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, Good Morgana (Merlin), Grief/Mourning, M/M, Magic Revealed, POV Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Sad Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Temporary Character Death, Uther Finds Out About Merlin's Magic (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-27 01:07:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21110180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CandiceWright/pseuds/CandiceWright
Summary: When Arthur comes back from a hunting trip he is confronted with a situation he never expected. Forced to face his feelings and reconsider everything he thought to be true, the young prince has to make a choice. With the help of Morgana, will he be able to break from his father's ideals and become the man he needs to be?





	Of Truths and Choices

**Author's Note:**

> So, this took me way too long to finish, but I'm pretty happy with the result. The original idea for the ending was completely different and it just didn't feel right to post it like that so I had to rewrite a lot until I was satisfied. I really hope you like it!

Arthur had been on a hunting trip with a few of his most trusted knights. Everything had gone according to plan. They hadn’t been attacked by bandits, they found a great place to settle for the night and they had caught numerous rabbits along with a deer. So Arthur should definitely be feeling content. But he wasn't. He felt hollow. And he absolutely didn’t know why. Nope. Not a clue. It obviously didn’t have anything to do with the absence of one particularly annoying blue-eyed-black-haired-big-eared-clumsy-as-hell manservant. Of course not. He hadn’t felt at all disappointed when the physician had told him that he required his assistance since Morgana hadn’t been feeling well those last few days. No. Not one bit. So, since he wasn’t bothered in the slightest by his absence he clearly wasn’t worried either. It was just natural that he thought he would come to the castle only to find that the idiot had gotten himself into some kind of trouble. After all, he seemed to be a trouble magnet. But he wasn’t worried. Why would he?

That’s why he wasn’t exactly surprised when he got to his chambers and didn’t find Merlin there. It was pretty late anyway, so he just readied for bed because contrary to popular belief, Arthur _ was _ able to dress himself _ thankyouverymuch_ . He _ was_, however, surprised to find George and not Merlin in his rooms the next morning. He'd just had about enough of hearing about polishing and other boring activities when he decided to go to Gaius’ chambers. But he was intercepted by Leon in the hallway.

“Sire, the King requires your presence in the throne room immediately,” the knight said.

“Tell my father I’ll be there soon. I have something to do.”

“Pardon me, sire. But I believe that the matter that the King wishes to discuss with you cannot wait.” Something in the knight’s face made Arthur realize that something was obviously wrong.

“Very well, I’ll be going then.”

Sir Leon bowed to him and then he went on his way, not without sparing him a worried expression first. As he made his way to the throne room, he couldn’t help but notice that the servants and guards were looking at him and whispering things to each other. Arthur was often the subject of castle gossip but, usually, people giggled behind his back, not gasped or sent him sad or scared looks.

When he walked through the door of the room, his father was arguing about something with a member of the court. They didn’t notice his presence until he spoke.

“Father, I hear you requested to see me.”

“Ah, yes Arthur.” The King gestured for the other man to leave the room before sitting on his throne and talking to his son again. “Something happened while you were gone that I believe we should talk about. But I’m sure you’re aware of these developments.”

“I’m afraid I’m not, father.”

“Well, you do know that Morgana was feeling unwell and that Gaius hadn’t been able to help her.”

“Yes. Why? Did something happen to her?”

“As it turns out, she had been enchanted.” Arthur visibly tensed at this. “I myself saw the sorcerer practising his magic on her and had him executed. She is now recovering.”

“That’s good news. I’m not sure how this concerns me,” he said, confused.

“You see, the sorcerer who was hurting her was your manservant. Don’t worry, he has already been replaced by a new one. I just wanted to know if you were aware of this man's true nature.”

He suddenly felt dizzy. He couldn’t understand the words that were coming out of the King’s mouth. His manservant. His _ manservant_.

_ Merlin_.

“N-no. I-I didn’t-”

The words died down on his throat as four different realizations came to him:

  1. Merlin was a sorcerer.
  2. Merlin had lied to him.
  3. Merlin had tried to hurt Morgana.
  4. Merlin was dead.

Merlin._ Merlin. _ A sorcerer. Evil. Liar. _ Traitor_. Executed.

_ Executed. _

Dead.

_ Dead. _

Nothing around him made sense anymore. He knew his father was still talking, but he couldn’t listen. His mind was too overwhelmed to understand anything. His knees were trembling and for a moment he forgot to breathe. He suppressed a sudden urge to vomit.

When he came back to his senses he tried to pay attention to what the King was saying.

“-but apparently, Gaius didn’t know either. He must have been good at hiding if no one was aware of his intentions. Well, that doesn’t matter anymore. However, you must be more careful in the future or things could end up in a tragedy. Remember that magic must have no place in Camelot.”

“Yes, sire.”

With that, Arthur all but ran back to his chambers. Once the door was closed, he broke down. He didn’t make it far into the room before falling to the floor. Weak, defeated. He wasn’t used to feeling like that. And even less to feel them at the same time. His mind could only repeat the same words over and over and over again. _ Merlin. Sorcerer. Liar. Traitor. Evil. Dead. _

_ Why? _

He tried to compose himself. Being alone with his thoughts would only result in more pain. He needed a distraction, but what could he do? Morgana. He could visit her. His father did say that she was feeling better. 

He made his way to her room. There he was greeted by Gwen.

“My lord.” She said, not meeting his gaze.

“Hello, Guinevere. I’m here to see Morgana. Is she up?”

“Oh, yes. Of course.” He started to walk to the door when she called after him. “Sire!” Arthur turned to her. “If you need to talk abou-” He raised his hand to stop her. He couldn’t deal with that. Not right now. She nodded, understanding, and then left.

Arthur went into the room. He looked around for the black-haired girl before spotting her lying in bed. 

“Hello, Morgana. I’m glad to see you’re feeling better.”

“I’m not,” she replied dryly.

“What do you mean? Do you need me to fetch Gaius or-”

“It’s not that!” The tone of her voice made it clear that she was angry. “I don’t expect you to understand. After all, you’re just like Uther.”

“Morgana, I don’t know what you’re talking about. But you’ve just recovered from your condition and you should be happy, not-”

“Oh, really? I should be happy, right? Tell me, Arthur. How would you feel if the person who saved your life was executed for it, huh?!? I’m sure you’d be thrilled.”

Arthur was speechless. He gaped at her, wondering if he had understood her correctly or if he was just hearing what he wanted to hear.

“A-are you talking about Merlin?” Morgana scoffed.

“Of course I’m talking about him. You didn’t really believe that he would do anything to harm me, right?” The prince didn’t say anything, because he hadn’t even considered that. “Oh my God. You did. You thought he had enchanted me. How could you?!? You knew him! You know he wouldn’t do something like that!”

“Well, apparently I didn’t know him!” Arthur snapped. “He lied to me. He betrayed me! I trusted him and I thought he trusted me. He obviously didn’t.”

“Right, because you would trust the son of a man who would put you to death for being who you are.”

“I wouldn’t have told father, alright? I didn’t want him to die! And besides, he chose to study and practise magic. It was his choice to help you and he knew he was taking a risk.”

Morgana was fuming at that point.

“A choice?!?!? Do you really think someone would choose to have magic?!? To be scared every single day of their lives? To have to hide who they really are to the people they most care about? To have to see them get hurt and to know that they can’t help them because if they get caught they’ll be killed?” She paused. “You’re right. He did make the choice to help me. And before he was executed he told me he would do it again if it meant that I lived. He chose to give his life for mine. If you think that’s what an evil person would do, there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

Silence filled the room for what felt like an eternity before Arthur could speak again, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.

“You spoke to him before…”

“I did. I think I was the last person he talked to.” For a moment, he wondered how she had been able to get to him. But, knowing Morgana, she probably had snuck into the dungeons, undoubtedly going against the King's orders.

“What did he say?” She looked at him, her eyes sad but gentle.

“He asked me to take care of you.”

The words felt like a punch to the gut. Arthur was openly sobbing now, not caring about showing weakness. _ That idiot _ he thought. _ Only he would think about something like that before being executed. _

Morgana got out of bed and walked towards her window. She stared at the courtyard.

“At first he didn’t say anything.” She didn’t look at him, her gaze fixed on the stone floor below. “He probably didn’t want to give Uther the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten to him. But once the flames started reaching him, he couldn’t help it.” _ The pyre_. Merlin had burned. At least Arthur had hoped that he hadn’t suffered for long. “You want to know what he screamed? What was the last word that left his lips as he was consumed by the fire?”

She didn’t wait for him to answer. “He called your name.” 

Arthur had to sit down. The image was now too clear in his mind. His Merlin, standing in the flames. Screaming his name. Begging for Arthur to help him. But he wasn’t there. 

He couldn’t save him.

He didn't know if he would have.

Morgan's went back to her bed, not looking at Arthur. She was obviously done with the conversation. The prince ran out of the room and went back to his own chambers. He had to think. He needed to think. Something wasn't right and he had to figure it out. This was Merlin. _ His _ Merlin. Evil? It couldn’t be. Something didn’t make sense. Right now, he felt like he had a puzzle to solve, but some pieces were missing. He had to get answers. And luckily he knew where to get them.

"Gaius!"

"Sire."

The man looked at least ten years older than when Arthur saw him last. He couldn't blame him though. He felt older too.

"We need to talk."

"Yes, I believe you may be right, my lord. You must have many questions."

"I do. And I need straight answers, Gaius. No half-truths." 

"Of course."

What came out of the physician's mouth wasn't what Arthur expected at all. To be honest, he didn't know what he'd expected, but it certainly wasn't that. For one, Gaius didn't lie once. Arthur expected him to at least try to conceal the truth a little bit despite his warnings, for Merlin's sake. But he didn't. Because he didn't need to. The tales that Gaius explained were ones of wonder, bravery and loyalty. Not once did greed or personal gain come into play. That couldn't be if what his father had told him was true. But, then again, this was Merlin they were talking about. And the more Arthur heard about the secret life he had, the more he believed in Morgana's words and the more he resented his father's actions. But that was something to think more about later. At that moment, the prince was absolutely immersed in the tales about spells, enchantments, mystical creatures and love. Because what else if not love would have made Merlin sacrifice so much for him? He understood. Oh, how he understood. For he would have done the same for him had he asked for it. He loved Merlin. And wasn't that a terrible realisation to have? That he loved someone who he was supposed to hate. That he loved someone who was everything he had been told was evil in the world. That he loved a man who could never love him back. Because he was dead. Executed by his own father. And wasn't that tragic? 

It was that notion that broke him. He stood up and left the physician's chambers to get to his own. When he got there he let the emotion consume him like he never had. _ You're being weak, Arthur. A king can't show weakness, it is unbecoming. You shouldn't cry over a serving boy, a liar, a traitor, a filthy sorcerer. _ But he wasn't. He was crying, no, sobbing over _ Merlin_. His manservant, his best friend, the man he loved. And, yes, he had lied to him. But hadn't Arthur proved he had been right to do so when he had jumped to the conclusion that he was evil? When he hadn't even considered that there could be another side to the story? No, he couldn't blame Merlin. Sweet, loyal Merlin who hadn't fought for his life despite being more than capable of doing so if Gaius' stories we're anything to go by. Merlin who had burned at the pyre and used his last strengths to call for him, to beg for Arthur to save him. Merlin who was dead and would remain that way forever.

If anyone we're to ask why he was sleeping on the floor, Arthur would have never admitted to having fainted.

Luckily for the prince, with a new day came clarity and with that came the need for new information. He needed to understand magic better. He supposed he could go to Gaius again, but their last conversation had left him exhausted and he presumed the older man would be feeling the same. So he went to another person, someone who may have seemed unlikely but whose insight had often helped Arthur.

“Morgana? Are you awake?” No response. “I know you do want to talk to me after what happened yesterday. But I just wanted to tell you that you were right, as usual, and I was wrong. I never should have presumed that Merlin was guilty without knowing all the facts. But I spoke to Gaius and now I know in my heart I have the truth. Merlin wasn't evil. He didn't have an evil bone in his body. And he was burned for being brave and stupidly loyal. And I'm sorry, Morgana. So, so sorry. I wish it hadn't happened. I wish he was still here because, Morgana, _ I love him_ . I love him and he's _ gone _.” He struggled to get all of that out, his voice cracking due to the emotion that still overwhelmed him.

The door opened and Arthur was met with bright green eyes that were as filled with pain as his own.

“Come in,” she said.

“Magic isn't evil, Morgana. He lied to us. He has killed so many people. How many of them were innocent? How many of them, like Merlin, we're just trying to help someone they loved or cared about? How many died for something they couldn't choose?”

“I don't know, Arthur. But too many.”

“We can't let this go on, can we? We have to do something.”

“You try speaking with Uther. I doubt anything will change his mind.”

“There has to be a way. A way to get him to realise that not all magic is bad. A way to force him to accept it. Or a way to get everyone else to realise it, at least.”

“I may have a solution, but it's very risky.”

“What is it?”

“I think I have magic.”

“WHAT?!?”

“Merlin told me before...” Before he died, she didn't say.

“But how-”

“Apparently, my dreams aren't dreams at all. They are visions of a future that hasn't yet come to pass. Sometimes they are very strong when they are about to happen or they show an immediate danger. Other times, they are far away or unlikely. But that doesn't make them less of a vision.”

“But that isn't the same as having magic, is it?”

“Not by itself, I suppose. But I believe there is more inside me. I feel it, Arthur. I feel the power trying to break free.” Arthur took a moment to try to assimilate this.

“Okay, alright. But what can we do with that?”

“Well, it may be a long shot, but maybe if we show Uther my magic we can get everything in our favour..”

“He would blame it on Merlin.” She nodded.

“Perhaps. But only if we let him.”

“What do you mean?”

She smirked.

A feast was declared that night to celebrate Morgana's recovery and Merlin's execution. Every nobleman and woman was in attendance. The citizens of Camelot awaited in the courtyard for the king's proclamations and his ward's presence. Everyone loved the girl and people were happy to not have to mourn her as well. The royal family made their way to the balcony.

“People of Camelot, ” Uther started. “Once again we celebrate a step in the fight against magic. This time, the attack was in the heart of the kingdom. The sorcerer was my son's manservant. Someone in the perfect position to cause harm to my family. And that he did. For we almost lost my dear ward, the Lady Morgana. But I was lucky enough to detect the threat before it was too late. So now we must celebrate! Let the feast begin!”

Arthur approached the stone railing where it was loose. He looked at Morgana and nodded once. She nodded back and he placed all of his weight on the unstable structure. His heart was racing, but he had to do it, needed to do it. And so the stone started to break and he began falling. Everyone that was gathered in the courtyard gasped or shouted in fear. Morgana ran towards the prince and put her hand up. Her eyes flared gold and Arthur was suspended in mid-air. From there he was able to reach Morgana's hand and she pulled him up. He smiled at her, knowing that whatever happened now was a matter of luck.

Everyone was silent, not completely understanding the scene that had just unfolded before them. The King was frozen in place, staring at the broken pieces of stone. His eyes were filled with fear and shock. He took a moment to compose himself before saying “Guards!”

“No, father! I won't let you do this!” the prince said.

“You will do whatever I say, Arthur!”

“No. I won't let you hurt someone I love. Not again. Especially not after she saved my life.”

“She used magic.”

“But she used it for good! You saw it. Everyone did! You lied to us! You said magic was inherently evil. But here I am, alive, due to magic. And I suspect it's not the only time.”

“What do you mean?”

“I refuse to believe that Merlin was evil. Knowing him he probably used his magic to protect me.” He didn't say he knew this to be true. There was no use in angering his father any further.

“He enchanted Morgana! He almost killed her!”

“He saved me!” Morgana spoke for the first time since the conversation started. “He gave his life to save mine and you killed him for it!”

“He put a spell on you so that you would believe that! Can't you see?!? It all his fault!”

“You will not speak of Merlin that way! You killed him! Isn't that enough for you? To kill the man that saved our lives multiple times? No, of course not. You also have to speak ill of him even when he's not here to defend himself. I hope you feel proud of yourself Uther.”

The guards that had come forward to arrest Morgana were now paralyzed, unsure of what to do. Uther looked at them and made up his mind.

“Well, what are you waiting for?”

“No, sire, ” Leon replied. _ Loyal man_ , Arthur thought. _ He's one of the good ones_.

“What did you say? You're forgetting who's the King!”

“Sorry, my lord. But a man who knowingly killed hundreds of innocent people is no king of mine.”

Uther looked at the other guards. “Well?” he said, but none of them moved. Everyone in the courtyard was now stunned by the situation that was unfolding. They were so surprised that no one noticed the hooded figure making their way through the crowd. 

“Long live King Arthur!” someone chanted and soon everyone else joined in.

Arthur smiled at the people, his people, and then at Morgana.

“You can't do this to me, Arthur! I am your father!”

“Not anymore, ” he said and gestured the guards to take him away. He got closer to the edge of the balcony and addressed the multitude. “People of Camelot. For years you've had to suffer the consequences of an unjust prejudice and for that, I can only say I'm truly sorry. There's nothing I can do that will give you back everything you've lost. Because we all lost something to this absurd war against magic. Some of you lost freedom, others a loved one. That's what I lost too. My best friend. And I know nothing will fix the hole he left in my heart. But from now on, things will change. No one will have to live in fear of execution just for being themselves. No one will have to suffer unfairly anymore. That is my promise to you. I hope it's enough to prove that I'm going to try my best to make things better. To make this kingdom shine brighter than ever before. For the love of Camelot!”

“For the love of Camelot, ” the crowd echoed.

Arthur made his way back inside, feeling like a new man. Or maybe not new at all, just someone that had been trying to get out for a long time. His true self.

The next few weeks were very eventful. Uther was tried for his crimes against the magical community and the Old Religion. But despite everything, Arthur couldn't find it in himself to order his execution, so he banished him from the kingdom. He left the next day, presumably to Mercia, though to where exactly Arthur didn't want to know. The process of changing the laws was a tedious one. But after the incident in the balcony, no one dared to go against the new king or his terrifying sister. Ah, yes, that was another thing. Before leaving, Uther had revealed that Morgana was his daughter, making her Arthur's half-sister. That had taken some time to get used to, but it made more sense than either of them were willing to admit. She took the position of Court Sorceress, not before spending a couple of weeks with the druids to learn about her powers. Everyone in Camelot was happier than they had ever been and everything seemed to be going as good as it could be. It surely was the beginning of a time of peace, a _ Golden Age_.

But something wasn't quite right. Arthur was drowning in his new responsibilities not only because of all the work that needed to be done, but because he felt unable to enjoy anything else. Morgana quickly noticed this and tried to speak with him.

“You can't keep doing this to yourself, you know?”

“I have to, Morgana. I owe it to him.” She started at him for a moment.

“It wasn't your fault, Arthur,” and _ dammit_ , she read him so easily. She really was his sister, _ as if there ever was any doubt. _

“I know that. But I have to make sure that nothing like that happens ever again.”

“He wouldn't want you to be like this.”

“What do you know?” he snapped. Morgana looked taken aback for a second but then she sighed and spoke again.

“Arthur, he asked me to take care of you and I'm not going to break that promise.” Arthur then felt guilty for raising his voice to the only person who had been with him through everything.

“I'm sorry, Morgana. I just miss him.”

“I know. And I'm sure wherever he is, he misses you too. But if he knew everything you've done for him, he would be proud of you.”

For the first time in days, Arthur smiled.

After the ban on magic was repealed, things calmed down a little bit. The days we're no longer filled with council meetings and lessons on the Old Religion. But, unfortunately, that meant Arthur had more time to think. He often found himself lost in memories of banter and horseplay and goofy smiles. He tried to remember his conversation with Morgana. He had to be well, to be strong. For him. All for him. But it was bloody hard. Some days were admittedly better than others. But that feeling of loss, of emptiness, was always there.

One day, the young King was making his way to the physician's chambers to get something for his headache when he heard something. A sound he never thought he would hear again. A laugh. He ran faster than he ever remembered doing. He opened the door. Two eyes fixed their gaze on him. Eyes of a blue he never thought he would see again and _ oh gods _ how he had missed those eyes. And that hair. And that _ god awful neckerchief for god's sake_.

“Merlin.”

“Arthur, ” and, oh, how sweet his name sounded coming from those lips. He never knew it could sound like that. Like a prayer and a song. He rushed to the younger man and crushed him into a hug. Gaius took that as a hint to leave the room.

“Don't you dare. Don't you dare do that to me ever again, Merlin. Is that understood?”

“Never. I'll never leave you again,” and Arthur couldn't do anything but kiss Merlin at that moment. With every touch of their lips, every movement of their tongues, the prince felt more and more alive. And then Merlin broke the kiss, looked at him and _ smiled_.

And, suddenly, everything felt right again.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm thinking of making a sequel to this from Merlin's pov. Would you like that? Let me know in the comments!


End file.
